i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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