Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
