Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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(954): View more from Florida

I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

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(516): View more from New York

nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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(775): View more from Nevada

He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on

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(530): View more from California

Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off

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(708): View more from Illinois

It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf

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(613): View more from Ontario

According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...

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