People in love make me want to vomit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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