Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How naked do you want me to be?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
