Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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