i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
