You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
