I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
