girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
