Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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