Nicole vs. Life
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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