I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
