And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize