youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
