very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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