i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
