He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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