wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
