Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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