you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
