We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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