I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
