Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
