ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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