what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
