btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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