Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
