She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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