Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
