i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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