You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
