I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm passing your future prison.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's even glitter on my cock...
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