she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
