Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
