they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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