I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
