EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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