he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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