Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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