dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we made out on top of his cat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
