he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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