Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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