you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
