my vag is so smooth its legendary
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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