so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize