I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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