in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
