She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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