He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The struggles of a small town man whore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
