Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude. I can hear the air.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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