I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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