I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
how does that bad decision feel?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
