Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
