Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Less talking, more tequila
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Your penis caused this!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
