hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
