I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
