Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
