Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
