Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
