I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
