I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
