Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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