I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
