Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
