Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
