He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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