i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
