i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
